We are a Team...
Recently, I have heard and read a lot about mothers and fathers being a team, always trying to be by each other's side, especially in the context of raising kids. And, frankly speaking, I find it absurd because it sounds to me as if the two individuals are ganging up against a child, their own flesh and blood. And the child, instead of developing understanding, is more prone to developing resentment or feeling alienated. And I don't think we want that.
Rather, I feel that in the situation of a conflict between child and parent, instead of saying that "we are a team...", if the other parent tries to listen to the child and explain to him/her how appropriate the concerned parent's decision or action was and how much they both love him and want to protect him from any adverse or bitter experience in life, it would be more appropriate, and the child would feel heard, and the rationale presented will be more viable and understood by the kid, also teaching him to be logical about things around him. So love, logic and empathy will indeed do their magic.
In the same way, if the parent in conflict is wrong, the discussion about it should be open and put forth in front of the kid only, with all the rhymes and reasons, instead of pretext and behind-the-door instructions or explanations to the other partner. We must remember that fallibility is not a weakness; it's authenticity. "To err is human..." Let's let our children know that we can be wrong. Adults make mistakes, and there is no harm in accepting that we as parents are learning and growing up with them. We make errors and learn but still make errors.
See, there is no rule book for parenting; every child is different, and a parent needs to understand that and deal with the child accordingly, keeping his individuality in mind.
Besides, it's ridiculously annoying seeing parents shielding their kids from every adversity, trying to train them beforehand for upcoming difficulties rather chalking out the path to follow in this wide world where most of the part is yet to be unravelled. I don't understand how they can create SOPs for those uncharted avenues which are yet to be discovered! How can we prepare them for something we have never witnessed, experienced or tasted? So, instead of drawing up the map to be followed, let them explore, experience and be awed by this miraculously mysterious world. Our aim is to make them a seeker, not a follower.
So, dear parents, we are not a team; we are still a family, a kutumb, a loving sphere where our young enthusiasts find their space for their cadences and become productive members of this huge family.
